6 October 2013. I decided to update my bio in twitter. My old bio was "a dreamer, live excited, soulitude". I changed it into "someone's future husband, could it be you ?". I just feel that bio is something i'm not. I was a dreamer once, living my life with excitement and complete soulitude that everything is settled.
To be honest, its been weeks i run out of motivation to live my life. Night after night i kept thinking what i am looking for ?? What lifes mean to me? Money, happiness, or what ?. Im getting frustrated of questions whispered on my head. I feel lonely and empty.
5 October 2013. I invited some of my college friends to step by my cottage. Laughs and nostalgia, thats what we shared. We also talks about each other virtue, hows lifes goin. I laughed, i talked, i observed. I wonder if one of them feel the same lonely, questioning the same question? I feel different. This time i actually feel lonely in a crowd.
28 September 2013. I and some colleague went out of the town after many cancelation. We went to Anyer beach. We shared laughs and fun. It was really fun, cant remember when is the last time i have such laugh out loud. It is also my first time to me to fight my own fear about the sea. I swum. At that point, i forgot a bit about my loneliness.
Tonight the same questions crossed my mind, and i had no idea where i m driving my life. My life is messed up.
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